How I Met And Married My Man of God

Optimal Living Magazine

First Lady Shellaine Coney

The Well of Living Waters Ministry, High Point, NC

OLM: When you first met your husband - how old were you, and what was your emotional and spiritual state?

SC: The very first time I met James, I was about 13 years old! I was visiting his cousin Ashanta; we were just kids that were not interested in each other. As a matter of fact, he was so disinterested in anyone and looked bored sitting on her porch waiting to go back home. It was 5 years later that we would see each other again on May 1, 1993.  James claims that I walked passed him twice and he had to speak. My emotional state was unhappy from the poor relationship I had from the man I was dating at the time. Looking for love was far from my mind. As for my spiritual state; it was broken and I had no relationship with Christ.

OLM: Did God speak to you about the things you needed to change or improve on (within yourself) before meeting him? Was there something he did that proved to be a game changer/let you know that he was the one for you?

Lady Shellaine Coney: At the time, there were two classmates that believed in Christ; they were always ministering to me about the life choices that I was making. One classmate invited me to church a few times but I was not taking it seriously. However, James believed in Christ heavily and would talk to me about having a relationship with Christ. He was different than the man I dated; he was loving, caring and outgoing. James truly loves the Lord and it was genuine. I realized that I needed to change my life and build a relationship with Christ if I wanted to be a better person. James loved me for me; but in order for us to work, I had to make some hard changes. James waited for God to change me; that was a game changer.

OLM: Was there anything that you did specifically to prepare for meeting him by faith?

Lady Shellaine Coney: There was nothing that I could do to prepare for meeting James: it was a divine connection from God Himself. I was in a place that needed spiritual guidance and God knew how to lead me to that path.

OLM: Were you currently dating someone that you realized, wasn't the one and why?

Lady Shellaine Coney: At the time, I was in an abusive relationship. The man that I was dating was not saved and could care less about my emotional and spiritual states.

OLM: How did you know he was the one God made for you? How did he propose?

Lady Shellaine Coney: James was the total opposite; his caring nature proved to be what I needed. Also, I had to learn that I had to love myself enough to have a better relationship. James proposed to me in Macy’s Department store in 1994!

OLM: When did you marry him? How long have you been married?

Lady Shellaine Coney: We married August 17, 1996. We have been married 21 years.

OLM: What do you feel are the key things that keep your commitment & love strong throughout the years?  

Lady Shellaine Coney: The most important key is to keep Christ first; we cannot do anything without Him. Second, be open and honest with each other; keep the lines of communication open at all times. Third, honest compromise; there will be sacrifices made by both parties. Last, marriage is 100/100 both parties should put their all into the relationship. Marriage is a partnership! When love is not enough, the partnership kicks in stronger!

OLM: Is there any word of advice that you would give to a woman waiting to meet and man after God's own heart?

Lady Shellaine Coney: The key is to wait;  Proverbs 18:22 states he that findeth a wife findeth a good thing and obtaineth favor with the Lord.  He will find you as my husband found me when I wasn’t looking!

There is truly a transition that takes place when a man finds a wife. First Lady Coney positioned herself for greatness, in spite of being in an empty, abusive relationship. In the end, God gives us what we need, instead of what the world tells us we should want. And now, she is living her best life, serving God with her best friend and family. We pray that this story has inspired you to wait on your man of God.